Red Dawn Review

Did I go see the new Red Dawn because I am a child of the 80's and wanted to ensure the sanctity of a classic? Or did I go  because it stars my #1 dreamy man, the irresistible Chris Hemsworth? My motivation doesn't matter, but will offer some assurances to my fellow 80's purists-- they did it justice.

This film, set in Spokane, Washington, opens with interaction between Jed (Hemsworth) and Matt (Josh Peck) Eckert. We learn the Jed joined the Marines and left for Iraq following the death of their mother, and has just returned home without warning. Matt, the quintessential arrogant teen, treats his brother with veiled resentment... until the lights go out and North Koreans start parachuting in.

The invading force quickly takes over, murdering and abducting anyone that poses a threat. The Eckert brothers gather a band of rag tag teens, take to the mountains, and endeavor to become the "tiny flee that irritates the really big dog." They, of course, adopt the monicker "Wolverines" to take credit for their efforts.

The film gave enough props to the original, pulling key plot points as necessary, but gracefully developed a story of its own. The characters were a bit archetypal, and the acting was... well, lets call it adequate for an action film. Except Hemsworth, who was stunning in every way. It offers excellent pacing and action interspersed well amidst some very raw moments among the Wolverines.

I have only three complaints:

• Anyone who has ever been near the Pacific Northwest will instantly notice that the movie was not filmed there. The location used was Michigan. Nit picky? Probably, but it was distracting to me.
• It was about 15 minutes too short. I have this complaint about many action movies-- they worry too much about throwing in enough explosions, and cut out some strategic dialogue that would have taken characters from archetypes to seriously sympathetic. At just over an hour and a half, there was time to play with. 
• Josh Peck annoys me. I am sure he is very nice, and he was serviceable at Matt. But his brooding was more mopey and someone needs to hold him down and cut that mop.  I don't believe you're shooting North Koreans with hair in your eyes.

So here is my advice-- go with an open mind. Don't expect a full on Red Dawn remake, but rather a nod to the original, updated for today's age. But go. Definitely worth seeing in the theater, where Chris Hemsworth's crystal blue eyes are so much bigger and dreamier! 

Review of Snow White and the Huntsman

I am interrupting my normal blog schedule... mainly because I have been in 8 states over the last two weeks and cannot get it together! So, instead of taking about writing, lets talk about movies!

Since I have been so open in my belief that Chris Hemsworth is Dreamy Man #1, I’m sure it is no surprise that I rushed to the theater opening weekend to experience him and all of his splendor (and abs) in Snow White and the Huntsman.


You all know the story of Snow White and the youth-obsessed evil queen that sought her out. This film has brought that story to life, capitalizing on all of the macabre and sophisticated story elements that have been so deemphasized in all of the children’s story retellings. Though there were several things I liked about the film, its art direction is tops. This movie is visually stunning!

Speaking of stunning, let us hear it for Charlize Theron, who brought the age-old evil queen to life with vigor, glamour, and, surprisingly, sympathy. The queen’s character is built flawlessly, so as her wicked antics continue, you may not approve, but you can almost understand.

However, it seems like the writers put all of their characterization eggs in one basket. Though brilliant, and oh-so-dreamy, Chris Hemsworth is left with a bit of a caricature in the huntsman—the soul in turmoil and in man in his cups following the murder of his wife. He brings it to life, but clearly could have done more had he been given more.

All of this sounding good? It should, because this film was almost good. In fact, Snow White and the Huntsman was almost great. Ultimately, though, one part of the movie knocked it back to “just OK” in my book, and that was the flat, lifeless performance of Kristen Stewart. As the movie started, she just seemed to be wandering around, staring at stuff with her mouth open. I was thinking “come on, I want to see her NOT be Bella Swan, give her a character, let her shine.” Ultimately, the character never came, but as Stewart blundered through her lines, kept that mouth hanging open in a stunned and confused expression throughout the film, and failed to create chemistry with a single one of her co-stars, I realized that perhaps it was wise to avoid giving Snow White a character, since her portrayal was going to be so weak anyway.

If that sounds harsh, it is, but no, not just because I am so very jealous of a woman that has gotten to kiss Chris Hemsworth, Robert Pattinson, and Taylor Lautner. Stewart was an excellent Bella Swan, and I actually enjoyed her in Adventureland, but she either phoned this one in, or has determined that an open-mouth stare and bosom-having breath is the key to an Oscar. In fact, to provide an overly flowery metaphor— if Hemsworth, Theron, and others provided performances that could be likened to jeweled, golden goblets of fine wine, Stewart was the red Dixie cup full of Bud Light you pay $2.00 at a kegger.

Otherwise, surprise appearances by Bob Hoskins and Ian McShane, amazing visuals and set design, and a truly phenomenal performance by Theron make this worth seeing. I’m just not sure I would see it in the theater where the gaping mouth just gapes wider.

Friday Fun-- Avengers Review

So typically my recommendations for Friday Fun revolve around films you can grab on Netflix, but this week is a very notable exception.

You know The Avengers broke all kinds of revenue records on its opening weekend, but that doesn't often mean much. Titanic was a huge financial success, and I must be one of a minority of women that really disliked that film. But The Avengers... if you haven't gone yet, go now! Here are a few reasons why:

1. Chris Hemsworth is in it, and as I mentioned before in my review of Thor (read it here), I find him to be the pinnacle of dreamy men. He does not disappoint reprising the role of this Norse god.
2. The fight scenes are good... and i mean really, really good. Well paced, lots of action. 
3. The explosions are even better. 
4. Robert Downey, Jr. is actually funny, and didn't drive me insane like he usually does. 
5. I love Jeremy Renner, and he is great in this. 
6. Scarlett Johannsen got to act instead of just kind of be there with a few excuses for being there in her underwear thrown in like many female superheroes are portrayed. 
7. And best of all, there is actually a coherent, well-built plot. This isn't King Lear by any stretch, but it also isn't just a stupid action movie/excused for lots of awesome explosions.

A highly enjoyable, highly recommend film. If you haven't seen it yet, I recommend you go now!

Dreamy Man Thor!

So I have too long abandoned one of my favorite topics-- dreamy men. I was reminded of this when I watch Thor with my roommate last weekend. Again.

OK, so in fairness, the number of times that I have watched this relatively new movie has as much to do with my general love of superhero movies as it does with my love of ogling Chis Hemsworth. Maybe even more. Maybe.

For those of you unfamiliar, Thor is actually one of my favorite comic-book-turned-movie franchises, as it is based and heavily steeped in Norse mythology. Which I also love.

The new movie version begins as a  young Thor, portrayed by the amazingly dreamy Chris Hemsworth, about to ascend the throne of Asgaard when Oden, played by the always dreamy-in-a-refined-older-gentleman-way Sir Anthony Hopkins, determines that he is too vain and immature to rule. Subsequently, Thor is banished to Earth where he meets Jane, a.k.a. Natalie Portman. Of course, given how amazingly, unbelievably, incredibly beautiful Thor is, a romance ensues as conditions in Asgaard sans Thor get quite dicey.

You should see it-- it's on Netflix now. Even if you aren't into dreamy, tall, very muscular Australian men like Chris Hemsworth (who is, gulp, younger than me, which troubles me a bit), it is a super-hero movie worth watching. It's well acted, Kenneth Branagh actually directs without over-stylizing everything, and the story is really, really rich and dynamic.

And Thor looks like this. I'm just saying.