Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Oh, I mean why is THIS so soothing?

Does foreboding count as a sixth sense? Like, when someone asks you if you are psychic, can you say “no, I forebode?” Because if so, I am super crazy powerful. I’ve been scattered this week for a variety of reasons. But, that is part of it. I have this feeling of impending

I jump to foreboding because, over the past several years, when I have had this feeling the end result is, in fact, something bad. But I guess it doesn’t have to be. It is just this feeling that something is about to happen in a big way.

I realized that the title of my last post makes absolutely zero sense about what it says. “Why is it so soothing…” was actually not intended to be a post about the State College Trip. It was intended to be a post pondering why staring out my bedroom window at the cemetery calms me down so much.

And why does it?

I never had a goth phase. I’m not obsessed with death (unless it is the living dead in a George Romero movie, and then I am on it). But it is just peaceful , and beautiful, and full of history, and it soothes me.

I’ve also realized that frenetic doesn’t quite mean what I have been using it to mean. It sort of does, but there is a more negative connotation to it. It isn’t negative. My mind moves at a million miles an hour. I find so many things fascinating beyond measure, and so my interests and (scarce) free-time are as scattered as my thoughts.

And something about staring out my window at a graveyard helps me focus my thoughts, turn my attention to something and plug away and be productive.

I see possible explanations to my conundrums:

  1. Maybe I feel a sense of foreboding because I spend a lot of time staring at a graveyard
  2. Maybe the actual physical evidence that there is an ultimate culmination to this world helps me unscatter
  3. Maybe I am just weird.

The FINAL manuscript for Max and Menna went to the publisher on Sunday-- holy moly.

I can’t read it again for a while. Every time I do I get all whimsical and nostalgic and silly. I am now turning my attentions to other pursuits, including a marketing plan for the book and novel #2.

I leave for vacation three weeks from tomorrow. It's my first one in almost five years. I might just explode. San Francisco, here I come!

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