Thursday, September 5, 2013

Wedding Planning Advice... Buying a dress made more practical

So, last Thursday I mentioned my upcoming wedding, how planning increased my estrogen level, and that there are differences in wedding planning in your 20's versus your 30's. Here is what I consider to be the biggest difference, at least for those of us financing our own event-- mortgages. I am working on planning a wedding while paying a mortgage, car payment, student loans, etc., and those things take precedence over one day.

That said, I do have a perfectly comfortable budget, and I do, like most brides, have dreams of looking perfect. So I, of course, want the perfect dress. However, the quest for such has proven to be a bit eye opening. Thus, even though I have not yet bought my dress, I have some suggestions for how to get a dress that makes you feel beautiful without making you cry.

  1. Don't be bullied. In each salon I have been to, I have been shamed about my budget, and then seen consultants quickly (and ineptly) pull out their hard sell tactics-- don't fall for it, and don't feel pressured to buy on the spot. You do NOT want to be shamed or bullied into buying a dress because then, no matter how much you love it, your perfect dress will be perfectly tainted by the crappy situations under which you bought it. 
  2. Don't think you have to go to a salon. I do recommend that you go to a salon, try on dresses of different colors, fabrics, and shapes to get an idea of what you want. If you buy it there, great. But there are also other venues you can look at. Does wearing a pre-owned dress make it less perfect for you? If not, try If you want a new gown, look for at places like‎ have discount dresses. 
  3. Don't go to China. OK-- this isn't so much a rule as a request.  There are many Chinese manufacturers selling dresses at steep discounts that seem almost too good to be true. However, these discounts are often because designs by prominent designers and are literally being stolen. While I am far from a fashionista, as a writer I know what it feels like to have years of your work completely devalued. Yep, you're getting a deal, but that designer is getting nothing.  And, if that is not a solid reason, research the reviews on these sites. You will find many cases of people who did not get what they ordered, or got a low-quality product that they then had no way of seeking a refund. It's a risk on top of IP theft.
  4. Don't feel roped into to "traditional." Maybe you have your heart set on that poofy cupcake dress, and if so, more power to you. However, if you are looking for something simpler, or perhaps more elegant, consider looking into evening gowns or non-traditional vendors like‎ . They have lovely products at even lovelier prices. 
  5. Don't succumb to "the feeling." Chances are, most of us have watched "Say Yes to the Dress" enough to intrinsically believe that if you cry, its the dress. The first dress I put on was "the dress" and I loved it. I had "the feeling" and I WANTED it... But it was $700 over my budget. So, I did a REALLY tough thing and walked away. Since then, I have found another dress that also gave me "the feeling." In fact, there have been several such dresses, all closer to my budget. Now, if you try on more and never get the feeling again, look around for a good deal, see where else you can tweak the budget, and then decide if the feeling is worth it.


  1. Good for you for not falling for any of this silly stuff.

  2. On the wedding I really hate to waste the food. I was looking for the idea that save the food on wedding. Fortunately, I meet your site on wedding planning and the idea of pack the remaining food in the box and save it for later this suggestion make me very happy.. Thanks!!